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Insights and Awakenings

My Medicine Walk

10/31/2016

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On Sunday, October 30th I participated in a Medicine Walk out in Kingsville ON at Camp Cedarwin. It was led by Dr. Denis Marier, ND, MA and Pat Andrews of Natural Pathways Forest and Nature School.

After sharing in Council Practice, each participant set off, into the forest to receive guidance on the questions they had come up with during our earlier discussion. I had an idea of what I hoped to learn…I was curious about how to guide my children as they approached puberty and this next journey of their young lives. I also was interested in learning what my next steps might be as I continue in my day job and yet expand my business at the same time. As soon as I crossed the threshold, and began my walk, I knew that I needed to be open to the experience as it was meant to unfold and decided to leave my specific questions behind.

The ground was mucky after a rainy start to the day so I was happy to have gone out earlier to purchase some rubber boots. Now that I was well equipped for the soggy path, why not thoroughly experience it? I stepped in boldly. I didn’t jump in or splash around as a young child might but I was not tentative either. I moved my feet around, swirling the water with my movement and watched it become muddy. I pressed my foot down firmly, enjoying the suction as I pulled my foot back up to take my next step. To be free of any concern of getting dirty or making a mess felt like freedom…

The next thing I decided to do was to go off the marked path. I could see yet another puddle up ahead and I was more interested in walking through it than staying on drier ground. I had to step over fallen branches and other obstacles along the way but in the end, it was worth having yet another opportunity to be carefree and young at heart.

Once my need to be playful had been satiated, I brought myself back onto the main pathway. Everyone else must have gone a different route because there was no one else to be seen. Perfect! I found myself wanting to go in the opposite direction of anyone else so that I might explore completely on my own, and enjoy the solitude for as long as it lasted. Soon, I came up to a bridge.

The planks were of different sizes and some were a little uneven. I placed my foot on the first plank and then the next. I looked down and noticed that there was really nothing beneath the bridge at all. No water, just a ditch. It remind me that as I crossed over into the next part of my own life journey, I would start out taking small steps as I calculated the potential risks ahead. Once I processed that thought I began to move more quickly across the bridge and felt that, in the end, if I stumbled along the way in my business development, the fall, if there was to be one, would only be a bump along the way and would in no way keep me from reaching my dreams on the other side.

I smiled as I continued on. Before we left, Pat had told us that we might come across a corn field. I could see it now to my right and felt drawn to go and check it out. The pathway didn’t go all the way to it so once again, I stepped over some branches and higher grass to make my way to the field on the other side of the trees. Once I did, I noticed that the field had long ago been harvested and what was left were the golden hued remains of the corn stalks that had once stood tall in this expansive plot of land. I looked around me and was in awe of the open space and yet noticed that all around the field were the trees of the forest acting like a security fence offering protection. I took a deep breath, spread my arms out wide and then turned to continue on.

I got back on the path and moved deeper into the forest. By and by, I came upon two signs. One pointed in the direction of the Propeller Building which Pat had told us would be our halfway point and the other pointed in the opposite direction to some other point of interest. Part of me felt that I should go toward the location that had been suggested but the other part just didn’t want to, so in the other direction is where I headed. I noticed mushrooms sprouting out of decaying wood and witnessed a small bird fly out from under a bridge as I was crossing it. The smell of the damp leaves was intoxicating and I began to feel warm in my jacket from the brisk pace I had set for myself.

All of a sudden…I started to wonder where the heck I was at. Just then, I came across two more directional signs but Pat had not mentioned either of these destinations. Which way should I go, I asked the Universe? I heard a voice in my head direct me to follow the path to the Humber Hut. Ok then, that’s where I will head and I hoped it would take me back to the meeting point.

I was also hoping to get back to the place we started out at by going a different path from which I had started from but at this point, I decided I just needed to get back by any which way. Denis had said that he would sound a drum beat when it was time to head back but what if I couldn’t hear it from where I was? What if I ended up being the last person back? Why had I decided to go off the path in the first place and stroll along without a care in the world? Finally, I decided to stop all the Ego driven mind chatter and just focus on getting back to camp.

Along the way, I came across a white stone that reminded me of those stones some people have in their garden. I have them in my backyard and even though I can’t stand them, we haven’t gotten rid of them yet. What I found interesting was that I had come across this single, common garden stone out in the middle of the forest. How weird, that it was poking out among the fallen leaves. Despite the fact that I usually want to throw these stones away, I decided to pick this one up and put it in my pocket.

I went up and down a couple of hills; moving quickly now since my pace had picked up in my desire to get back on time. I crossed another bridge and then found a grassy path that somehow looked vaguely familiar. I turned a corner and noticed a large plant that I was certain I had passed by earlier. It had stood out to me because it was covered in dark berries and it was bent down to the ground as if someone had snapped its stalk. It must be the same plant.

I hurried along and realized that I had found my way back to the pathway I had started out from and before I knew it I had crossed a new threshold slightly to the left of the one that had allowed me entrance to the forest at the start of my journey. With a sigh of relief, I slowed down and made my way back to the circle. I was third person out of seven to return so I was by no means late.

When everyone returned, we each had an opportunity to share the experiences we had on our excursion through the forest. After each story, Denis shared his thoughts on what the person had just shared. When I had finished Denis reflected that it seemed as though I had experienced an entire Medicine Journey from being a child all the way to an elder. I was puzzled at first as to what he meant.

He reminded me of the puddles I had playfully mucked about in. He told me that I had looked like a child as I shared that part of my story. The uneven bridge was like childhood as we start stepping out on our own and are hesitant to leave the helping hand offered by our parents but are, at the same time, emboldened to do it all on our own. Stepping out to the vastness of the cornfield was like being a teenager with the endless possibilities before them, wanting to go out on their own and pave their own way in life yet still thankful to have loads of support and encouragement surrounding them.

The thoughts that came into my mind, interrupting my carefree adventure, resembled the experience of being an adult and always feeling the sense of responsibility and the need to take care of all the “shoulds”.  Finally, he asked me if I knew of the symbolism of the white stone. I told him that I didn’t. He pointed to the one that sat in the North spot of the medicine wheel in the middle of our circle. A white stone, he said, represented our elders. Ahhhh…how fitting. A complete journey of a lifetime in a 40 minute walk.
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The answer that came to me was that I would never fail as long as I kept moving forward because every obstacle along the way was simply something to learn from. I am guided always and all that I need to do is to believe in myself and my potential to do what I am on this earth to do. I don’t need to worry about my children or do anything specifically to prepare them, because it will all unfold as it should.
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What an amazing experience. I truly recommend that you do your very own Medicine Walk. Just set an intention and be open to seeing the signs and symbols before you. 

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Sacred Spiral 

10/15/2016

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What a beautiful  morning! It is crisp and cool. I decided to go outside to enjoy my cup of coffee and when I stepped out, I could see my breath as I exhaled. I have a busy day ahead but right now, I am in no hurry.

I have a workshop coming up soon about intuition. Have I been connected to my own lately?? In between sips, I closed my eyes and took deep breaths....in and out. The smell of the leaves and the dampness of the dew filled my lungs and made me feel like I was somewhere else other than my backyard in Windsor, ON.

When you take a moment to ground yourself and breathe deeply, especially if your eyes are closed, you can almost slip away to somewhere else...somewhere within and that is exactly where I needed to be.

I came inside and decided to draw some cards from my oracle decks. My Medicine Cards stood out and I felt that there was a spirit animal who had a message for me today. I took the cards from the box and felt the energy as I shuffled the deck. I was hoping one would "jump" out at me. After a bit I decided that maybe I just needed to pick one but it was then, that a card came out from the rest and I took it to mean that this was the one I needed to see.

I chose card #34 (7) which is the Grouse. Hmmm...I don't think I have ever really noticed this little guy before. A grouse is also know as a Prairie Chicken and it is an unassuming sort of bird. What message could this creature have for me?

I discovered that when Grouse shows up, there are lessons to be learned that are about understanding and connecting with the Sacred Spiral. The Sacred Spiral is one of the oldest know symbols of personal power. Imagine a whirlpool spinning and taking you to your center and allowing for a personal vision or enlightenment of some kind. 

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bhoomikashap.deviantart.com-Sacred Spiral

Grouse encourages you to take time to meditate on the different types of movements that are in your life right now and ask if everything is in sync with your greatest desires and goals. The male Grouse, in its desire to secure a suitable mate, will dance much like a Dervish, spinning passionately and uninhibited. This is a time when we need to be aware of unnecessary stalling or running around in circles. To find my center, I took out my drum and played a beat as I danced in my sacred space. I then took out my singing bowl and allowed the vibrations of the music fill my soul as it got louder with each turn of the baton. 

If you are reading this, take a moment to see how Grouse's message can be applied to your own life today. Take a moment to take a deep breath and find your own center. That is where you will find the answer to any question you may have about connecting with your own birth and rebirth of ideas.
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What's RACE got to do with it?

10/5/2016

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​Keynote speaker Eddie Moore Jr. with symposium organizing team members Dolana Mogadime, centre, and Kim Radersma.
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​https://brocku.ca/brock-news/2016/05/racial-issues-on-the-agenda-this-fall-as-us-conference-comes-to-brock/

I was at a conference this past weekend about White Privilege. I found out about it the day before and decided…almost reluctantly to attend. I was reluctant because I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to “go there”. Not to St. Catherines where the conference was being held but I didn’t want to go into discussing this challenging topic.

I used to be passionate about being an advocate for Black empowerment and education. My experience growing up made me super sensitive to some of the negative experiences Black people and other people of colour have experienced in the past and continue to experience today in a variety of ways. Everything shifted though as my focus changed from looking at this life experience solely for what it was in this place and time to seeing it as multidimensional and on a continuum.

I also stopped seeing myself as separate from other people. I began to adopt the concept that “you are me and I am you”. This view forced me to be more sensitive to the differences of others. I also decided that it was my soul that had chosen these particular life experiences before I incarnated into this life that I am currently living. My soul decided on my gender, sexuality, abilities and experiences as well as my race. My family members are part of my extensive soul group and together we agreed to play certain roles in this lifetime.

If this sounds kooky, that’s ok. What this belief did for me was to help me to accept the way things were and to look at everything as something I could learn from if I decided to accept the experience and not resist what was occurring. It definitely shifted my perspective of life in general and towards the people I encounter on a day to day basis.
The conference reminded me that the past has a habit of repeating itself and that when we think something is different or new, we only need look back and we will undoubtedly see that it seems eerily familiar. I won’t even begin to point out that Trump seems like another politician from history. Let’s just leave it at that.

The last workshop I attended at the symposium was all about looking at our personal histories to identify not only how we have been privileged…or not…but it also discussed how this attempt to dig deep might actually trigger necessary healing and ignite an understanding of the people in our lives who had the biggest impact on how we developed into the people we are today.

The presenter specifically discussed getting to “know” our grandmothers. She was candid about her own personal history allowing the audience a peak into her not so perfect life. I appreciated her vulnerability because it is in that, that we, as the witness, can feel safe in our own dysfunction, recognizing that we are not alone.

I share this with you because I choose to look at everyone as kind until they show me another side of themselves. I choose to believe that there is more good than bad in this world even though the media would have us believe differently. I also believe that the most significant thing we can do, for someone who is sharing with us their own life experience, is to listen and believe what they say.

I spent my life feeling shut down and diminished who I was so I could be what other people wanted me to be…or what I thought they wanted me to be. I have carried the burden attached to the fact that my skin is brown. I have felt pain and hurt associated with societal stereotypes and expectations that had no reflection on my own life and caused me to have to prove that I was not what people thought of me. That is exhausting people!

I share this with you because I was reminded that differences are beautiful and amazing. Personal life experiences should be shared and respected. People are awesome and if you took a moment, you would find that we share so many more similarities than we do differences. If there is something you don’t like about a person or even a group of people than the choice you have available to you is to not be bothered with it. Let them be. Let them do what makes them happy. Stop complaining and comparing…stop judging and excluding.

I am you and you are me. We are all connected. We ALL come from the same source. Let what we do be generated by LOVE and LIGHT!
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